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Nov. 23rd, 2008 | 11:06 pm

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Comments {13}

Jennanana Pink

From: rainbow_fuck
Date: Feb. 3rd, 2009 01:44 pm (UTC)
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First of all, that entry wasn't supposed to be public. I don't know why it wasn't protected, but I honestly didn't realize it until I got an anonymous comment. I'm sorry if I offended you.

As for everything else, I am tired of fighting with you. I miss you and I wanted to be friends with you for so long, but I never felt like you genuinely wanted to be friends with me after what happened. So I gave up. I know you are sorry, but you can't really say sorry after you hurt people like that. I understand that your life was shitty, and thats all well and good, but I would rather hang out with positive people who are doing amazing things with their creativity and helping me move forward in my life.

And you aren't the first one to get this speech. I told Matthew the same thing. I am tired of babying other people. I am tired of stroking the ego of my friends by telling them I love them, when I am truly unhappy. I found positive people. I found productive people. I truly love them and want to spend time with them. I am NOT saying I don't want to be your friend, I am just saying that I will wait until you want to change.

What are you doing these days? Aren't you graduating soon?

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adiaphorism

From: adiaphorism
Date: Feb. 3rd, 2009 05:18 pm (UTC)
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you didn't offend me, I just felt it illicited some sort of response.

I never wanted to not be friends with you, I just assumed I was generally unforgivable. But I don't know that there's any way to gage whether or not I've changed in any relevant way because I feel as though I'm constantly changing.

I haven't really been doing much of anything and I graduate in a few months. Are you taking summer classes at VCC?

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Jennanana Pink

From: rainbow_fuck
Date: Feb. 4th, 2009 03:14 am (UTC)
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I'm constantly changing too, therefore have decided to just let things happen as they happen. I am taking summer classes at VCC, hopefully just freshman comp requirements and math. I am taking 4 classes right now (with the most inconvenient schedule ever) and I am not very happy. From now on, night classes! So I can be awake, haha!

Oh hey- for future reference, leave lindsay or lyndsea or lindsey or whatever out of this. I know I mentioned her in my entry, but I really don't care about any of that anymore. She sent me the most condescending messages and they annoyed me enough to just... stop caring. I am tired of this already.

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adiaphorism

From: adiaphorism
Date: Feb. 4th, 2009 03:25 am (UTC)
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Maybe we'll have some classes together! How is your schedule inconvenient?

I didn't know she sent you that, I didn't mean to "involve" her, I figured she didn't care. I don't know, I apologize. I don't want there to be any animosity, truly. It's hard not to react, though. I'm sorry that it annoyed you.

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Jennanana Pink

From: rainbow_fuck
Date: Feb. 4th, 2009 12:10 pm (UTC)
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I have one class in the morning and then one WAY late in the afternoon with this huge gap in my day. Mondays and Wednesdays I am on West Campus and Tuesdays and Thursday I am on East. For the summer I plan on taking classes in the afternoon only and Tuesdays and Thursdays only.


As far as she goes, its alright. I just don't know why it bothers her or why it matters in anyway. She was just like "Who are you to say all this, you don't know me, blah blah blah" and I was just thinking - yeah, I don't know you, why do you even care?

I am just confused as how you both read it anyway. Unless you were looking for it I didn't think it would have come up anywhere super public, even though it was a public entry - you still would had have to been monitoring my LJ for it to be an issue.

Thats the only thing that annoyed me. If you want to stalk people on LJ, thats alright. I do it too. People I don't know and people I want to know, but I don't pick fights with them via comment when I have an issue with their post. It's their post. Whether it was public or not, its the internet. You can say whatever you want whenever you want and no one can stop you. I didn't think you were even reading it anymore so I didn't think it would be an issue.

It just seems childish. Thats all.

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adiaphorism

From: adiaphorism
Date: Feb. 5th, 2009 02:53 am (UTC)
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I won't know what my summer schedule will be til march because i'm going to be driving mindy to her classes so I have to work them around that.

I think she's just confused as to why you don't like her, but i kind of think it's just a huge miscommunication. she said she tried to be nice/reason with you but i don't know, it's obviously beyond that, she just feels you never gave her a chance i guess.

it honestly never occurred to me to read your journal until i saw you, because i just kind of accepted that you didnt want me in your life. i thought maybe your livejournal would provide me with some information to tide my impulse, so to speak. it may have been juvenile, but i felt what you wrote was a little of the same caliber, and i don't know, i wanted to make it so that i could run into you without exchanging a mutual look of shock and horror. as for lindsay, again, i didn't mean to involve her. i just said somethin like "lol look what jenna wrote" and it i guess just eradicated some feelings of unfairness to her.

but, i really miss having you as a friend and i don't want there to be anything negative in any aspect of my life, even if it's buried in time. i wish lindsay felt the same way, but i guess both of you feel it's futile (which is fine) and i apologize if you (or her) feel i contributed to it in any way. i feel like i should say more but i don't want to beat a dead horse.

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Jennanana Pink

From: rainbow_fuck
Date: Feb. 5th, 2009 05:34 am (UTC)
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I don't know, I just kind of lost interest in being friends after Saturday night. I know you are well intentioned and I am sure you have changed, but this all seems a little ridiculous. Every time we have ever tried to make this friendship work it has ended poorly. Very poorly. Fire and brimstone poorly.

As far as Lindsay goes, every interaction I have ever had with her was a condescending note sent to me over the internet. First it was some thing about Matthew, then just normal snide comments, and now this. I am just tired of it. If she is this obnoxious over the internet, I have no desire to talk to her in real life.


Maybe we will run into each other and it wont be awkward. Maybe it will. I don't really know. I don't really care. I am not going to be shitty to you in public, I promise. I am just tired of this.

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adiaphorism

From: adiaphorism
Date: Feb. 5th, 2009 05:50 am (UTC)
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fair enough

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